an style="font-style:italic;"> okay another day and another confusion about "men"

let me give you the breakdown of these 2 men - 1) is todd dennis - who is he to me? well for 4 years of h/s he was my tormentor - if it was rude, he said it my way - from gr.9, the very 1st day of school, he arranged it so that he was in my homeroom (& every homeroom thereinafter) & as we were seated alphabetically he was either in front of me or behind me ARGHHHHHHHH 4 years of this shadow dude lol okay it "sounds" swell but try it out sometime lol have someone follow you CONSTANTLY for the time of school hours... NOT fun... unless he is the school hunk/jock lol then it would be fun - todd was everything i was not - he excelled at math, i did not - he entered math contests, i entered same math contests to be able to do a protest of one and make my answers (remember those lil bars you had to color in???) i made my answers look like a butterfly lol he played chess - a game in which talking IS NOT allowed omg!!! & speed/timer is of the essence? he entered science fairs, i stole my cousin's idea and basically rehanded hers in LOL which confused me because she won at her school? etc etc everything todd was, i was not - oh i was in drama, he was the sound crew and lighting crew - closest we ever came to talking hahaha
so to current times - i have "found" todd dennis on facebook like 20 years late lol ahhhhhhh & he is the photo that you see - the headshot - not a bad looking fella **evil grin** oh backtrack, todd in h/s was all of 4'11 and maybe 80 lbs? yah the kick the sand in the face dude but his words were lethal, at least my way... but then he would turn around and be a first-rate flirt to every girl BUT me I would just seethe silently until 1 day I locked him in the locker YAH and left him, after changing locks haahaha
todd, i have read, is quite the decent guy... i have left numerous notes on his facebook page, once or twice even asking him to call - well i have done the 411 and have found his info - is it ever correct/ok for a girl to call a guy? me so confused about all this male-female "stuff" especially when the guy is the geek lol & you so hated him & want to see "IF" he's human after all?
the 2nd photo is shawn pchajek and yep, my crush for h/s - now? he lives in thailand is wanting to become like the dalai lama (sp?) & is a Buddhist - can Buddhist have sex? I dunno LOL My luck probably not hahaha Him? Beautiful man to me, physically and spiritually. If I could create a man for me, it would be Mr. Pchajek but he's a) in Thailand b) a Buddhist lol c) separated from a Japanese who is probably a size minus (which I no longer am lol) **sigh**

This male-female ying/yang thing is beyond me LOL

Char

the background of my email is shawn p (pictured) is my h/s classmate - of which i had a VERY secret "crush" on - i NEVER told him or even smiled at him - but i COULD tell you what he wore of every day of h/s & i could describe him head2toe - & even that he has the most beautiful smile & eyes (eyelashes too; they are the curliest i have ever seen!!!) BUT i never DARED to tell him this - just sat in classes that we shared QUIETLY and observed - & listened & observed him some more - never once in all of h/s did i tell him of my "crush" i just observed & wondered & daydreamed & having found him online - i told him of my crush & he was EXTREMELY POLITE & said I would have to keep on wondering - which is what an extremely diplomatic way of saying FOAD???????????? ouch ouch ouch he sent me the profile shot because that is how i remembered him - his left profile because that is where i sat ALWAYS where he was considered - 1 row over/left and 1 seat back and WATCHED & never spoke in english class - NOPE not once - just dreamily listened & watched & hoped that he would what???? Magically clue in? hahaha A 17-year-old boy CLUE IN? To an unspoken crush? Seated so very close? HAHAHAHA AS IF So this is my apology to him... I will find his original email or maybe not - He is very diplomatic and ohhhhhhhhhhh I was the foolish 17-year-old reaching out - With hope = IDIOT I AM lolololol **sigh**

Okay I have re-read your email that you sent to me and it has sunk in and the "you will have to keep wondering"

You are going to Japan to make up with someone that you very obviously care very much for.... I just wanted to take the time to apologize for my emails...

I just in my foolishness of schoolwork/tests/finals, not grasping what you were writing to me etc etc Just excuses really... And me "falling back in time" and having Shawn P. back "in" my life & my initial reaction(s) to you just came flooding back - The school girl crush (me2u) was really quite a) silent b) severe lol I could even describe you down to your eyelashes lol I would be able to pick you out in a crowd easily lol So me being the idiot I am expressed that and stupidly - I knew then Would never be reciprocated LOL

Besides you have a whole life - How could I say? Hey Shawn I would love to get to know you & see where it goes? You are in Thailand, quite settled and I am in B.C. quite unsettled LOL How could this be anything? Like what? Move to Thailand? Ahhhhhhhhhhh, the farthest I've been is Mexico where I knew "what" it would be like - Thailand woahhhh LOL I'd be like a kid - Scared and what? Everything NEW.

I knew IF I made the move or said anything to you - I'd make a complete ass/fool of myself and you'd look at me and probably a) not take me seriously b) outright LAFF at me or what I guessed was outright reject me and I would be devestated hahaha

So I give you my friendship and forget the girlcrush/mine and get to know the Shawn of today

I wish you luck daring to "try again" I've been that deeply in love with one man that I went back and he knew he could keep on coming back which he did intermittently until he finally walked away I cried I think for a year straight I wish you Happiness Shawn - I hope it works for you -

I remember you always smiling - And those eyes!!! I am sure I never made the same impression on you. Hardly. I was very insignificant female/person in H/S - I was K.K.'s shadow - I am trying to express myself correctly after too much weed - I think the best word is yes, crush or "smitten" I never really talked to you because I couldn't -

I would like to be your friend - Cyberly - I would be honored -

There I have apologized for my faux pas and ooooooooooops i did it again-ness You have a friend, you always have, I am just DARING to make it known - Besides I think it is fantastic that you are working on being with another - A male FRIEND is probably the best thing FOR ME. I've never had that - Isn't that sad? I've always changed it shockingly fast to let's f--- Then retreat. To my safety go away now zone.

I do not, nor did I ever want to do that with you. I was into meditation already and wicca in H/S and I was told you and I would never be "insignificant" and that was another reason I never communicated with you - Does any of this make sense?

Probably not - But I will send it anyways - She is a lucky girl/woman I hope she realizes the gift she is being given a 2nd Chance - Me? I never dared for a First Chance.

But I am your FRIEND, however you decide. Oh and for Xmas ? I would love a phone call Oh wait that is me being an IDIOT again LOL

K I am over and out - I am going to copy and paste this nonsense onto my blog and read it straight tomorrow LOL

I hope this gets a reply more than FOAD char **sigh**

charlene

i have, in my dreams, have had PAUL STANLEY perform this accoustically JUST ME AND HIM

suuuuuuuuure IF that were to occur I think I would just ummmmmmmmm die right then because I would not be able to breathe, talk, or move HAH

it's a DREAM of mine to MEET PAUL STANLEY one day - i WOULD SHAKE from head to toe

charlene
landscapersrule@yahoo.ca

it's PAUL STANLEY video night LMAO

woooo wooooo

party of one hahahaa

PAUL STANLEY IS BEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTIFUL

yah baby

a fan forever,

charlene

i hope this video works LOL

paul gets AAAAAAAAAAAAANGRY

HILARIOUS

GOOD LUCK LANCE GOOD LUCK LANCE GOOD LUCK LANCE

YOUR FAN,

Charlene

News Bulletin:

Seven-times winner Lance Armstrong will make a Tour de France comeback next year, his spokesman told Reuters on Monday.

The 37-year-old rider announced in September he was coming out of retirement for the 2009 season.

A cancer survivor, Armstrong won the Tour for a record seven consecutive years from 1999-2005.

The American retired following his 2005 victory and has since devoted himself to the fight against cancer - raising funds and awareness through his foundation.

Armstrong, who will race for Astana, had already confirmed that he would race the Giro d'Italia, the Tour of Flanders and the Tour of California and several of the one-day classic races.

The Texas-born former road race world champion and bronze medalist from the Sydney Olympics in 2000, had said he would make his first race back in the Tour Down Under around Adelaide, Australia in January.

Armstrong has had a strained relationship with the Tour de France organizers, the Amaury Sport Organization (ASO), who said in October that his return would be "embarrassing."

The French daily newspaper L'Equipe, owned by ASO's parent company EPA (Editions Philippe Amaury), claimed three years ago that samples of Armstrong's urine from 1999 showed traces of the banned blood-boosting substance erythropoietin.

Armstrong, however, never tested positive and was cleared by a Dutch investigator appointed by the International Cycling Union.

The American has also questioned how safe he would be in France, expressing concerns about being targeted by fans.

I have bought a car from a neighbour who states he is a Mechanic for 28 years - and also he assured me that the car I was buying from him was in "Working Order" i.e. Fine in all aspects - Well I have paid for it and it is not "fine in all aspects" In fact, currently it sits in my driveway - The background is this - It seems that every 4th time that I drive it - It breaks down and starts to "smoke" 2x I have had the fantastic AND VERY/EXTREMELY POLITE N. firemen come to my Beater "fire" - Both times I have had sad car towed home UGH I called my seller/mechanic and he "fixed" it And yep, 4x later, no more go - Right now his answer is (and I am SO NOT a mechanic) "Due to the firemen's actions they caused a crack in the manifold" I believe is what he said? Well I talked to him/the mechanic on Thursday night last - And he ASSURED me that he would work on the vehicle - Picking it up Saturday and DEFINITELY SUNDAY - To lift the entire engine out and see DEFINITELY what the problem is EXACTLY? Well ummmm - Nothing has occurred? Car has not moved from my driveway?

My question is this - How many times do I ask him to "fix" this car? Or when is it beyond the limits? Of you are an #^$&&*$^%#$^$# and I want my cash back? I have never "bought" a car privately before so I REALLY do not know the "rules" in a private sale????

I am really confused here and I am a student so the funds are limited and went with this vehicle on his assurances etc etc?

Thanks for listening...

Author: Charlene
landscapersrule@yahoo.ca