I don't know about you - But I have reached the age where I sat down the other day and I looked around and thought - I am going to be dust one day and what have I accomplished?

I looked around and thought, there was only one man that I ever loved... And I wondered how he was doing?

When hmmmmmmmmmm - He popped up on my Facebook page and asked me how I was doing. How was I doing?

He was the first boy to kiss me, a striking boy of a red afro and a fantastic smile. I had moved from Winnipeg to a small town of Warren. SMALL is so not the word to describe Warren, Mb from Winnipeg.

I was all of ten. I was sitting on a rock, in a bike trail, enclosed by many trees and thinking no one was around, or would be for awhile, I sat down for a good cry. When a voice, right by my side, asked why I was crying.

I looked up and there was this beautiful young boy, looking down at me, daring to move my hair out of my eyes. Really looking confused, he was and concerned. I poured out my story, all my best friends and cousins and comfort was gone. I knew no one, and I once again began to cry, of which he replied, "To stop your crying, I am going to kiss you and for friends, I have 3 sisters."

He leaned forward and kissed me and I was entranced and as he withdrew his soft lips, I leaned forward and kissed him with all the passion I could find, wanting him never to leave me again.

When that kiss finished, and I leaned back, looking up, he was smiling and seemed to glow. I kissed him again, wanting to keep him near, always. Knowing that as long as I kissing him, he was mine.

That kissing continued throughout all my teen years and it was the beacon that was my Safety. If my day was blue, I drew comfort from his kisses and warmth and hugs, and wished for more.

Well I told him all this, but 20plus years had passed and he has, of course, a wife, children and a life. I could no longer run to him for kisses and secret wishes.

She is a very lucky lady and I sit here and cry. He is a great man and is standing by his principles. My boys are my life and I grew to love my wife.

Oh I look at my life and cry. Wishing he would run to me and hold me and say I loved you too, immediately. I was just too shy to take it further.

Oh Ricky - - I will be returning to our hometown at Xmastime - - I've aged, some call me jaded, and I am so wanting to see my Red.

Am I living in the past? No. I just remember you as my Cutey - - that always smiled at me and watched me cross the room, towards you and then life would rush our way - Y'see your 3 sisters came to occupy my life and you were the reason I really was returning and I never knew how to tell you that.

Now I am and what does that do.

Oh life's curves, are plentiful. As I look around my world.

In reply, you send me the song She's Everything by Brad Paisley and I don't know what to make of that - -

My gut reaction is to tell you I so want to just see you. And say Hello, you were so very special...

To Me.

To hold your hand and look up into your eyes once again.

Other than that? I can't begin to guess.

Will you give me that wish at Xmas? I hope so.

Now I go to the hospital and am quite sick. And scared and all that. But I reached out to you. And for that I am grateful I was given that chance.