I just filled out the Victim's Compensation Form - - UGH

QUESTION: INJURY SUSTAINED AS A RESULT OF THE CRIME:
Due to the fact that I witnessed my cat literally go up in flames, right before my eyes, and I lost my beloved white boxer named Taz in the ensuing smoke (due to the fire) I am going to require long-term counseling for grief and loss.

PLEASE DESCRIBE THE INCIDENT IN YOUR OWN WORDS:
January 28th, 2010 started out as any other regular day. Be it a Thursday, it was designated as my laundry day.
For the previous 2 - 3 days, I had been calling my landladies about the excessive noise and the problems (screaming/singing/banging walls) LOUD MUSIC (24/7 of AC/DC) but they (Darlene King) told me a landlord could not forcibly remove a tenant, just give a 10-day notice.
I had also faxed to my landladies a written complaint of excessive noise/music, non-stop, for days.
I had also phoned the non-emergency number of the RCMP to discuss my options due to on-going loud music (for 3 days) and was told, if the RCMP were to attend/visit, give a verbal warning to turn down the music. If RCMP would have to return, I believe, a 150$ fine would be issued.
I determined that would not be the way to go as being a single female, living alone, might be putting myself in jeopardy. I opted, instead to repeated call my landladies.
January 28th, I went to do my laundry. As the laundry room is in the basement, and right beside the lower suite, I could hear Paul Green singing. LOUDLY.
The words were off-key, but I could understand them. As I checked the washing machine, Paul sang, "Today is the day - to burn down the house - the house - the house - the house. Today is the day - day - day - "
I paused, wondering IF I should be truly concerned at this point? Or?
I continued to place my clothes into the dryer and then the volume of Paul's singing intensified, "I'M BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE!!!!!! BURNING DOWNNNNNN THE HOUSE - BURNNNNNNNNING THE HOUSE!!!!"
As it was approximately 20 steps from the basement/laundryroom to my kitchen, I thought first of my kitty, MeowMeow as I could already smell smoke.
As I entered my kitchen, I became transfixed for a moment of a flame crawling up the wall (outside). Then I saw a maovement and remembered that spot was my Kitty's favourite to sit/perch. I saw her tail and as I stepped forward to "save" my kitty the flame touched her tail and she was gone. In a small ball of flame.
I stood in the kitchen doorway, my mind not comprehending, at all, what I just witnessed.
Then like an internal light-switch went on, I thought of my puppy Taz.
Due to my brain no longer functioning, I do not really remember what went down or what I did past seeing my cat perishing.
I do, minutely, remember, running in and out of the house, numerous times, looking for my puppy. He was my family, my love, and my cuddle-buddy. I am crying as I write this. I miss him and my kitty.
I lost my puppy in the ensuing smoke. I wish with all my heart, he would have/could have made it.
My police statement is much more elaborate and exact.
Paul definitely started the fire. No one else was in his suite. That is where it has been determined the fire started.
Me today? My brain no longer functions as well. I am forgetful now. I cry ALLOT.
I can't work - I lost all my electronics (computer, laptop, cassette recorder, micro-cassette recorder). All of my art supplies and art and art portfolios. I had to fight to stay in school. "Special circumstances."
I am functioning at 45% capacity (I feel) whereas before I was a real go-getter.
Grief, sadness is my constant companion, whereas before I was happy-go-lucky.
I hope this is an adequate statement.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DECIPHER THE FOLLOWING? I UNDERSTOOD IT AS THE WRITER IS BASICALLY TELLING ME THAT I "DESERVED" THE FIRE AND THE DEATHS OF MY ANIMALS?

I hate to say I'm giggling a bit, but I am...oh dear...what bad luck. Well, as for machines that can flood like the DW and the washing machine --is exactly why we never let them run when we're not in the house --ever... as it is, our kitchen faucet leaked all over the place under the sink...just in time as we're redoing our kitchen anyway. Was great seeing you too...just keep plugging away. You'll get to whereever it is you're meant to be, and right now --you're meant to be right where you are. Even if a bit soggy! Remember my *poking* you about your impact on how you got to this point in your life? Don't forget that whilst you didn't cause that fire yourself, obviously, you did permit yourself to be in a less than stellar environment --> which reflects your self value. To which you correctly pointed out that you had less than 72 hours to move ---> but which was also played by your role in that too, and backwards it goes, like dominoes. You life, as it is now, is your total creation. Your life changes when your thoughts change; that is all we are, truly, thoughts --and what are those? Nothing. Ok, that came out badly, but you know what I mean. It is from nothingness that all things are possible. And it is for that reason, that I see in you, all that creation just waiting, constrained as it is, to burst out and spread about the universe, that I have high hopes for you. I do. Know what I do every night before going to bed? I whisper in Connor's ear as he slumbers, "Anything is possible.".

[A Witches Home and Hearth] Charlene

...

From	> ...
To:	Home and Hearth

---

Personally animals do not come to me. BUT, I feel that Taz never left your side. I think he visits you often because you are sad. Animals have a 6th sense about them, they are more magickal than any human. This is what I want you do to, hold a remembrance service for both animals. say good bye, tell them to wait at Rainbow Bridge with the Crocodile Hunter until it is time for you to pass. This will show both that you are ready to let go. Now most times when you let go, the animals will come to you.

----- Original Message -----
From: charleneann
To: AWitchesHomeandHear th@yahoogroups. com
Cc: wayofthewitch@ comcast.net
Sent: Wed, 24 Feb 2010 17:30:06 +0000 (UTC)
Subject: Re: [A Witches Home and Hearth] BECKY

hello
i would like to write to this group because of the message below - that Irish Witch stated that she feels presences around here when passing...
Well let me digress... On January 28th, of this year, my house burnt down around me... LITERALLY... I lost both of my beloved pets - - a Ragdoll kitty named MeowMeow and a BEAUTIFUL boxer named Taz - Taz was the LOVE of my life and everyone's that met me.
How did the fire start? The fellow that lived in the suite below me started it - His doctor had changed his medications 3 days before and on the 3rd day his "voices" told him to burn down the house which he did. You can google fire, 370 Stewart Avenue, Nanaimo, B.C. CANADA and that is me LOSING everything and whatnot...
I am writing to ask did my animals pass okay? I went into the
house 5x to find my boxer, could not find him in the smoke... I just miss him so much. I am crying as I write this.
A fund was set up for me but came to naught.
If anyone knows of a baby boy white boxer, puppy that needs a home - HELLO
Thank you for listening.
Charlene
Author: Charlene

Tonight...
I felt restless and decided that I would go for a walk...
As today had been a very bad day...
For me...
Broke and funds depleting...
Fast.
Ugh.
Bills continuing, funds depleting.
So I went for a walk...
Daybreaking around me -
I stepped from my car and the first park, away from my home -
Three Bambi-like deers - big brown eyes glancing my way -
Wow, I thought.
Then I continued, along my way -
3 all black bunnys busily munching along the grass' edge
I looked around -
And saw a schoolyard nearby
with Swings.
I smiled -
Wow the last time I had swung? Was Swinging?
I was ten and I was with my beloved cousin Cheryl-Lynn -
Charlene Ann and Cheryl-Lynn were interchangeable then -
If one arrived thru the door first the question always was,
Where's Cher?
Or
Where's Char?
Dependent upon who(m) arrived first.
Always not far behind, never.
Life has torn that love apart not by my choice.
But Cheryl-Lynn's.
Never have understood the
Why.
I walked towards the Swing
and the memories of where I was last to sit down upon a
Swing.
Boyd Park, the North end of Winnipeg.
So very young and thinking I knew it all,
at ten.
I would swing until the chain would buckle and know that I was very high by
the size of Cheryl-Lynn's eyes as she would watch me swing.
As she would walk away,
I would shout and say, Watch this!
And jump crazily from the swing.
I can still remember the shock to my ankles as I landed, two foot stance, everytime.
Cheryl-Lynn never impressed.
Me, very impressed by my two-foot perfect stance, everytime.
Boyd Park the last summer of my youth.
Watching movies inside - - Phantom of the Paradise like 30 times - until I had every line memorized.
Love it.
Screaming around on my bike.
The freedom of that summer
Before
Everything changed and -
-charann

Okay I am just going to ramble here - Like I always do LOL

Donald Duck is a man, I find, confusing.

But I am not really one to dissect relationships between man & woman as I have been so very unsuccessful where the Male is in my own life.

But I ask you, dear Journal-Blog, if someone moves out of your home, takes all the furniture, sues you in court for 15 THOUSAND (wins) and comes back for "more" furniture - You stay friends with this person???

Why?

Because you are still carrying a torch for said female, I would surmise?

I do not, for one minute, believe what you told me Donald Duck, that you never found her pretty (to the level of plain-ness). Hardly - - One does not "date" someone for 3 years if one finds the other person Plain.

I run far away from my exes I don't let them drop off shared doggy at 10:30 at night - - Oh it is none of my business Blah - Just find it different, unique, strange.

Maintaining contact with someone that took so much when departing.

All I can say is I can only base what I "see" and the one time that I saw the 2 of you together, Donald Duck your body language was still very much connected to her - You, Donald Duck, are so very obviously "still" carrying a HUGE torch for "TinkerBell" - Very obviously.

I base this on watching the 2 of you conversing - - Body language - Yours Donald Duck - You had your hips thrust forward and near her - TinkerBell on the other hand, was staring up at you and her lower body was pointing away from you and never once did she change her stance, to move closer to you.

Ahhhh but the 2 of you did indeed disappear into the caverns of your house and I strongly believe "some action" did occur - Of which lil' TinkerBell knew, the devious female she is, that if she gave you a "bit" - You would gobble it up like the starving, needing to be loved BY HER, man you were projecting yourself as. She knew, if she gave you a taste once again, that you would open up once again and give into her Demands.

Of which you gave her whatever she asked for once again. Smart of her.

Me? I walk away from my exes and begin anew Immediately.

But then look at me - I am starting anew with Nothing.

And TinkerBell has You, starving for more of Her attention.

Perhaps I should take lessons from Her.

Instead I smile at Donald Duck and Daydream and think My how handsome you were tonight as you went out with your Mom/Mother and Daughter for dinner and I even thought, smelt even better.

But you don't notice me - I am your Tenant LOL

Oh well - Letting go and ignoring that I think you are Awesome and worthy of talking to and hanging around with.

Blah.

I am the Stupid One or as the Spanish say; El Stupido hahahahaha

Wish...
Mend when warm, surrender when safe.
Friend's grace, will still doctor soul.
Challenges journey - better - treatment is well.
Inner serenity above truth... then?
Question gratitude after profound Present.
-charann

I wrote to Oprah Winfrey today -
Here is my Letter to her with regards to My AHA Moment of 2010

If you google Fire, 370 Stewart Avenue, Nanaimo, B.C. CANADA that fire was Me.
The fire started because the fellow that lived in the basement suite had had his medication changed 3 days previous and on the 3rd day, his "voices" told him to burn the house down.
I lost everything and I want to qualify everything. I watched my beloved Ragdoll kitty Meow-Meow literally go up in flames. As a flame was crawling up the wall, towards her favourite spot to sit on the windowsill, I did not even have time to reach forward and toss her out of the way of the flame. She went up in a puff of smoke literally.
As the house was 100 years old, it went up in 8 minutes. I did not save any of my stuff. My aha moment was that my stuff was so NOT important - I was with one thought SAVE MY BELOVED WHITE BOXER named Taz - He was my best friend, my cuddle buddy at the end of the day and the beginning of the day.
I had boxer memorabelia all over the place. I could not find him and went into the house 5X before I was sedated with valium.
I miss my buddy so very much, every minute of every day and my kitty Meow-Meow.
I would love to be blessed by the same 2 breeds once again. I miss them.
Due to lack of finances and now a deep depression, I can't replace them. I pray that one day I will get a Ragdoll kitty again and a male white boxer once again.
I miss Taz and Meow-Meow. I am a cutter and am having a hard time, believing that I was saved. Truthfully? I sat down in the house and hoped the roof would fall down on me and take me with my pets. It did not.
I hope Oprah or some Greater Power hears my plea to bless me with another set of cuteys as before.
AMEN

My...
Serenity me... Meditate; peace then.
Surrender remedy gives profound play...
Every friend pure positive!
Live energy is balance between transformations...
One asks good through bad.
-charann

Am...
My heart strong, body is peace
My treatment nourishes the journey "there"
From life can transform at all times
Courage is close to challenge gratitude.
-charann

Life
give choice some value
better of touch before disease
every transform possible by body
that joy in whole journey
nourish - - voice off
Laugh Strong!!
-charann

ahhhhh it's great living in the basement suite of a man so ummmmmmm what is the word ???? interesting??? nooooo IRRITATING yeah lol

let's call him Donald like Duck hahahaha

yesterday he comes home from work grumble grumble... etc etc my landscaping work is crap etc etc just one big grumble

so me thinks the dude NEEDS to relaxxxxxxx

invite him or rather tell him about pool, sauna recreation centre that is nearby he has to go help buddy build new house righto burn your candle at both ends buddy lol

sooooooo have to borrow phone once again... as today is installation day STILL NOT INSTALLED mine GRRRRRRR

so he gives me the phone and says since i will be returning late... just leave the phone here in the garage... the door is usually locked lol sooooo i say wow such a gift you trusting me with the phone

proceed to today i am answering his phone BECAUSE i gave his number to the INSTALLATION phone line man to alert me when he was on his way lol of course D.D. phones in for his messages CRAP lol

here is the conversation

HEY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ANSWERING MY PHONE ?????

my thought is my what a sexy voice you have ON the phone BUT instead I reply ohhhhhh don't have a bird I am only answering your phone BECAUSE I had to give the Phone installation guy a DIRECT number to contact me when he is enroute k???

HIS REPLIES ARE IN CAPS lol

WELL QUITE FUNNY WHEN YOU MADE SUCH A JOKE ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY ABOUT THE PHONE AND ALL - -

I fell asleep - I layed down and OMG woke up at 12:30 p.m. and went oh DAMMIT this is going to cost me in D.D. land LOL

WELL WHEN YOU MADE SUCH A JOKE ABOUT MY ISSUE WITH RESPONSIBILITY OF PHONE ETC ETC

Fiiiiiiine - I owe you a Favour - - Whenever - Hold onto it these don't come by often - -

OH YEAH???

Yeah

WELL I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD BE MORE RESPONSIBLE WHEN - -

I fell asleep!!!

RESPONSIBLE - -

Hey you have a message LOL

etc etc

Yeah great fun SO FAR lol

Devon -

I thought that I should type or rather write you a note - - Before in usual Char fashion - I screw this up as well --

First off, I moved in here because of my gut reaction to Devon dude. That is all one has to base decisions on, yes… Altho the housecoat dress at the welcome threw me HaHa But my first impression of Devon was this - - Okay let me digress - - I can see persons energies or rather their auras - - You can choose to believe this or toss it away - - But yours is a very light blue - - Faded. But there. I immediately thought - - This IS a really NICE man - - And for me, I even complimented you further - as I thought that you were a keeper and that I wanted you as a friend BIG TIME.

I moved in because I thought I could handle being around you - And talking to you and teasing you and smiling at you - and for the two of us to be really great FRIENDS. I would like to be more than landlord and tenant and just be pals - - Okay let me define - - I like sharing things with you Like the chilli night and the like and smoking weed and whatnot I think that when one gets a Devon story from him - - it will be interesting - - My life - - NOT so interesting HAH So in a long-winded way I am giving you the ultimate compliment - - I find you interesting enough to hang with and I told you how I usually socialize with men - - Fthem and Forget them FAST. You would be a great friend.

I will state one thing fast - - I think what the woman is doing to you and of course, Samantha, is horrible - Moving in and moving out - - Does she realize how much Devon cared - But that is not mine to comment on - -

My other reaction to you was of course, what a very handsome man and I wish I was meeting him in another context - - So I could over-step the boundaries set forth from me signing the leaseRENTAL agreement and into the setting of teasing you and making you smile - I adore your smile - Which is so infrequent - - And you have the MOST expressive eyes - - The one trait you have that drives me batty is you do not maintain eye contact and I think oh great WHAT has Char done now that I no longer get eye contact hahaha



Do not worry Devon I am not going to jump the bones of Devon ha - The most Char is comfy with at this time is to dare to hug Devon and whisper in your ear that a hug at times is indeed devine.

I just would like you to know that you have a friend, not just a mere tenant and if you would ever like to unwind, smoke another joint, joke around or go for a ride - oh by the way - my bike is history I have found out so I will try to find another ASAP - So I can race in front of you Haha Or a 4wheeler - I am much more comfy on a 4wheeler - But hey that is jumping the game - You have not OFFICIALLY invited me along LOL Wait I need a 4wheeler first - Give me 2 months HA and Char will surprise you with …

Okay I am trying to say I find you wonderful, yes handsome and I like your smile, eyes and shoulders and I think you would be a sloppy kisser hahaha Okay that was another one of my bad attempts at humour… I would like you to find it somewhere, deep down inside that you have made a friend and her name is Charlene and you can come and talk to me when life throws you a curveball and I will listen and probably say Hey want some icecream or whatnot while we talk on the couch and I sit beside you and listen - I do not know if you have ever had a female for a FRIEND before - - You ARE allowed to hug them and it does not lead to a roll in the hay - Just a great conversation and giggles and oh Wine Weed is always welcome during these talks - - Just so you know HAH

On another note - You will be happy to hear Installation date of Char phone is … wait for it… This Friday… what time unsure… So I will be around here all day Friday waiting for Telus installation dude YAY

Other note - When can we grab my one last piece at my former house - my headboard driftwood piece - - over the weekend - - I know, I know - Ms. Demanding strikes again - - But then I can be out of your hair as I sand it and that will take hours and Char has a Mission OUT OF DEVON HAIR







I thought that today since you did express your anxiety last night about your new roomie arriving today that I would disappear while your adjustment time is occurring, or that change is going down. Farrah and I can be found on Pipers Lagoon rock picking and taking pictures Of the sunset and Farrah and whatnot - Bring wine if you want to join us - But I will be looking for Pipers Pub and grabbing coolers for tonight - - If you want to join in tonight - That is MY excitement coolers and artwork - - Oh and maybe coloring my hair more RED - -

Oh one other note from Ms. Demanding - - and this is a good one - - Since I am officially on Spring Break - - If you need any errands done during the day - - I can assist you in that If you need anything picked up or groceries, just give me the cash for the pick up of whatever item(s) and pronto it will be done - But if I could have Farrah during my days - - My days become Golden - - You have a friend Devon - - Not every female is out to hurt Devon C. - - In fact, I just enjoy your smiles so I am here for ya Dude - Besides I already am in love with your Dog - - Fight ya for her Haha The countdown is on for the Beach this aft.

You are a sweet man Devon and let me tell you this - - I do already adore you - - Actually the first smile and adjustment of your housecoat belt I already adored you and thought How far to his Probably king-size bed hah Instead of daring to kiss you and tell you how adorable I found you IMMEDIATELY physically I listened to my inner voice and said He is to be your very good friend and let him decide when and if it progresses and you to release control and let it just…

Be.

You have a friend - -
And her name is - -
Charlene

I hope in no way did this letterNOTE put the Devon defenses up - I wrote it so I do NOT muck up with Devon k… I think we have allot in common that one would never get bored of the other anytime soon… I am just better hahaha On that note, hugs and out … Besides your keyboard is DRIVING ME NUTS lol

GOOGLE OR YOUTUBE

Fire 370 Stewart Avenue, Nanaimo, B.C.

Trust Fund Set Up - -
The Island West Realty Fire Relief Fund is at Coastal Community Credit Union The account Number is 100020311963
Or contact Darlene King at Island West Realty 250-753-8111
Or cash donations are accepted at Paypal; landscapersrule@yahoo.ca

R.I.P. My furbabies Taz my beloved white boxer bundle of love and Meow-Meow my precious Ragdoll Kitty ...

Charlene Ann

Google - 370 Stewart Avenue, Nanaimo B.C. CANADA

That was my house - it is now embers...

Donations are being accepted at
70 Church Street, Nanaimo B.C. Island West Realty Attention: Eileen or Darlene - 250-753-8111
Cash donations are being accepted at Paypal landscapersrule@yahoo.ca

I will not go into the cause of the fire - That is so beyond the point it is inconsequential to my grief at this time... Hating Paul will not "bring back" my beloved Pets; Meow-Meow or Taz - - Meow-Meow was the resident queen of the house - - We all bowed to her - She was a beautiful blue eyed Ragdoll kitty - - Beautiful lil' curlup to me always wanting to ... Taz "The Spaz" was a deaf white boxer, a small bundle of love... For everyone...

Everyone he met, Taz LOVED - -

If you notice that I am not including photos on this post as my computers are a mass of plastic/hard-drives gone - - So my facebook page is featuring them - - Comment below with your email and I will send you my Facebook page link

Items that I lost in the fire?

For the past 25 years of my life I have been an artist in many avenues - - Acting; autographs from Pauly Shore to Jack Black, to Neil Diamond to RedCell, to Daniel Wesley Band, and all of my acting appearances (still on VHS lmao) with the likes of Danny "Partridge" Bonaduce, and photos of Danny Bonaduce and I and my singing telegrams of the last 20 years GONE

Easily 250 CD's - mainly 80's - to my favorite KISS to signed cd's of Daniel Wesley and others... Trance... Soundtracks ...

DVD's - - 300 of 'em - - Mainly, you got it - - 80's movies, ET, Mel Gibson's (all) and all of Arnold's... To yep 300 DVD's

KISS memorabelia (sp I know LOL) mainly of Paul Stanley - - and all of their cd's and dolls and whatnot... Avid collector

My porcelain dolls - Clowns easily 300

25 years of singing telegram costumes - - Clowns, gorilla suit, ballerina, many colored grass skirts and tops (bathing suit tops) all colors ... Naughty nurse outfits with corresponding boots - 5 pairs of "Naughty girl boots" Variety of colors - Red (fire engine) to white, and black and shoes/platform many with clear base and money inside and stripper outfits, naughty school girl outfits like 20 (a crowd fave LOL) and yep wigs????? ALL kinds of lengths and colors

And theatrical makeup

I am a Pisces and loved my baths - - so hundreds of bath products and bubblys were found in the bathroom - - - With the decor being the ocean - - So art of fish and whatnot

The kitchen decor was dedicated to kitty theme so anything that had a kitty cat (books, or wooden kittey knick knacks to art of kittys) was in the kitchen - this was Meow-Meow's favorite room because it faced south and she would be found on that window ledge in the morning watching the sunrise.. And that is where she died... I witnessed it UGH

My bedroom was dedicated to erotica and power of women/woman and sexuality - - A mermaid and my art pre-dominated... the female form and motorcycle boys lol books on wicca and the like - - goddesses, at least 30 dream catchers and incense/all kinds...

Pottery and plants were found thru out my home - - Always colorful and unique in look... and Sizes.

Books were everywhere also - - From Lance Armstrong to I collected books on The Kennedys, Marilyn Monroe and James Dean - -

I collected both books and Posters of James Dean which I had had framed - - That was in my computer room.

My computer was my livelihood so I had both a desktop and a lap top - - Both screens were 22 inch (I am a closet geek) LOL The desk top was my pride and joy the tower was a what I called my Disco Tower - When I had music on - It was a clear sided tower and the lights were keep beat to the music played WOOOO WOOOO Great for a person with ADHD lol

Laptop 22 inch yep

5 different colored ipods - Can you sense a theme of colour in my world? LOL

Stars were in my home allot too and disco balls either hanging in the windows or a huge one was found in my bedroom window...

Abstract art framed everywhere and oh my cameras - - 110 camera I called my James Bond Spy Camera - I had photos everywhere as well - - I refused to have a digicam I loved my disposable cameras

Mexican blankets and banners or hanging wrap around skirts hung instead of doors

Artistic was my home and oh there was fitness equipment - - one electrical treadmill HUGE and a elliptical machie, row machine, mini-treadmill, free weights (again all colors) and that was my home

Think art/color/ocean/disco balls/dream catchers they were in abundance in my life ...

I miss my Boxer Most - - If anyone knows where I can rescue another white boxer Let me know - He will be loved...

I can think more and more...

But I would like to write a BIG THANK you to the person today - - I was walking along the waterfront today and someone walked up to me (I did not know this person) and handed me an envelope onto which was written "You will find another 4legged friend once again..." Inside was a picture this person had taken of my Taz running free along the waterfront and cash - - The person left silently before I could thank them as I was stunned when this person knew me as The poor dear that suffered the fire

I pray that no one else ever suffers my pain - - Like this ...

Amen.

Dream Interpretor Requested:
My Dream Of Last Night:

I was sitting on my bed and daydreaming and then I started placing 18 inch sewing needles thru my skin!!!

But only on my face - - 2 thru my right eyebrow - - 1 thru my bottom lip (left to right) - 2 thru each cheekbone - -

What the hell?

Then I went to a job interview and I bumped into my ex after the job interview - - And he said that he did not like the (after he cleared his throat) piercings - -
So I stood before him and pulled all of them out? And blood BIG RED DROPS fell from the now holes in my face?

Then I rode the bus home and when I got home I glanced into the mirror and wherever a piercing had been was now yellow-green HUGE bruises? Like pea-soup green bruises? And very very white skin? Everywhere else?

INTERPRETATION?

Besides WIERD??? LOL

as i am to keep a record of "wrongs" with my neighbours - -
today, sunday, 9 p.m. - - stereo playing at top notch beginning with acdc - - and continuing ...
so loud cannot hear my own tv ...

yayyyyy

Well as I continue 2010 - I have found that I cannot, in 2010, stand chaos in my home environment -
I have spent the first week of 2010 - cleaning out my home of excess - Stuff I am not using or need - Knick knacks, clothes I will never again wear/fit ((sigh)) or the like and cleaning... I am surprised how chaos around myself in my "home" environment bothers me so.
TG for Freecycle!!! Or thrift stores **SMILE** So that is what I will be doing tomorrow COMPLETELY cleaning/washing floors/clothes and putting them away and putting everything away.
I can't believe it but I still have not put everything away - From my move here when? September 1st? So I have my goal for tomorrow of doing that "tomorrow"
Hmmmmmm - Surprise to me.

From: charleneann
To: depressionandabuses upportgroup@ yahoogroups. com
Sent: Sat, 2 January, 2010 5:01:38
Subject: [depressionandabuse supportgroup] Hello I Need To Write - -



I spent New Year's Eve alone, reading a book and snuggled up to my Boxer, named Taz. I am feeling so very alone. I reached out to others to spend New Year's Eve with - Either got their voice mail, were "too busy" or changed plans at the last moment...??? I have been single for like forever (10+ years) and am low income. I am a person that cuts and have walked away from the person that caused me to do so/more so. In 2009 I thought I was buying a home from my biological father, instead he took me to court and I lost and I had 72 hours to move. I am feeling very alone right now and thought I should reach out rather than cut. If anyone would like to correspond or is on Facebook lol I am there with this email... Don't know how to make friends really - Trying to go back to school/University to finish my B.F.A. but courses are soooo EXPENSIVE... Okay that is me in a nutshell.

Author: Charlene

I wrote the above to a Depression email pal venue I belong to - - Here is the first reply - - I am cutting and pasting it because it was so genuine...

charlene

im sorry your feeling this way but its good that you reached out to us instead of hurting yourslef im a cutter to and i know how differcult it is to stay away from doing that but you have taken a strong and positive step by coming here first and that on its own you should be proud of yourslef

these types of holidays are differcult for us specialy when we spend it alone i know i spend ome time with my parents but mentally i was alone through their lack of understanding

cuddled up to your dog that sounds cute it might have felt lonely to you but that just sounds a perfect way to see in the new year cuddled up to our faithful pets they never let us down i have a dog im up with her tnight cos she sick

but you must remember your not alone here we all are here for eac other

How I Spent My First Day of 2010 - -
I decided to go for a drive with my Faithful companion - And found, that within the rain, I was badly missing Vancouver and its being open/alive etc etc 24/7 365 days a year...

Everything but Blockbuster was closed LOL

Okay here is proof I am technically confused... I saw that many things were for sale - Including Nintendo Wii games - Well I thought this was a Name of a Nintendo Wii game (it was in with the rest of the games) and so Ummmmmmmmmm Get it home and its for the Nintendo Gamecube or whatever it is called ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH So off I will go back again for the right game - - GCUBE - RATATOUILLE is not for Nintendo Wii

**sigh**

But on the bright side? Got the Risky Business 25th Anniversary edition which **includes** All new documentary and never-before-seen Screen tests WOOO WOOO

Guess what I will be doing ASAP? While I treadmill? woooo wooo that is my day today... Me and Tommy.

Yay I rock.

In 2010.