Hello - -
I am thinking that I am going thru changes - Recently I had 2 men re-enter my world - Man No.1 is what I call my "BabyDaddy" as that is what he is. When I was 21 I found out I was pregnant at 5 months along. Why did I not find out until so far along? Because I was an avid cyclist ((300+ km/day)) and I had long since no longer had the monthly. So to not have it for X amount of months was not noted, by me.

Then all of a sudden voila - - a kangaroo pouch :) No morning sickness either, just this lil' pouch that stopped me from being able to do up my jeans.

The Daddy disappeared with another, who was already pregnant - - Yea I "REALLY" knew how to pick 'em!!!

He re-entered my world recently - and I just sent him on his way - Explaining my reason why as I did so - - Basically that I always felt that he was with me but not "with" me - - I felt like he was always looking over my shoulder for something "better" "younger" "faster" LOL But you get the idea.

Not a comforting feeling for a potential long-term relationship.

Dude No.2 was a Pick-up - A VERY good looking pickup, but a pickup nonetheless. Which would be hours, and hours of hot sex. 6'2 and eyes of Striking blue. And dumb as dumb can be. The only game he could wrap his mind around was X and O's LOL So VERY good looking, hung and dumb LOL

I sent him on his way, telling him that I was looking for something more long term, steady and whatnot. The look on his face was definitely a kodak moment. I think he was dragging his jaw back to his van LOL

This was a man that help me christen every surface and shower/bath tub of my home. LOL Twice. HAH.

Yet I send him away?

So now I sit here SEXLESS or even the potential of fast/hard sex-less - AHHHHHHHHH I am a girl that loves sex SPONTANEOUS sex. The most memorable place I've had sex? The Revolving Restaurant/Vancouver elevator on the way down. We pressed the Emergency Stop button and yep - -

Or on a bar stool, just lifting my looooong skirt and slowly riding as he sipped his drink, sometimes unsteadily LOL I think his groan at the end and grabbing my hips gave it away LOL

So for me to send these 2 potentials away - - Who am I "becoming" ??? A dried up old spinster? Or opening the way to my SPECIAL one?

Right now I don't know as I paint my walls and wonder...

Char