Okay I have had something occur today that I just have to write about until I am spent.

First off, I pride myself on my self-control. i.e. Lack of temper. Because I am VERY aware of how volatile my temper can be. So I tend to walk away from verbal altercations. or anything like that.

Quick background; the person that I am going to talk about is 54? 55? Her name is, I will call her "Arlene". Her background is that she has 3 children. One died in surgery as a teen, which she has never overcome this grief.2 adult sons - one she does not talk to at all - due to she does not get along with his wife that he chose. "She's a witch/possessed."

Her other son, at the age of 30, for the first time, moved out of living with Mom. He said that he was living with his Mother because he felt obligated to, to take care of - Due to her having had a complete nervous breakdown, after her daughter died in surgery.

She successfully sued the doctor who botched the surgery. She will get another(2nd and final payment) 2.5 million in September. Until then she is living in poverty/close to - whenever she needs cash for "stuff" which means bingo or smokes - she borrows cash from her son. The one that is still talking to her.

In February of this year, her son (I will call Ted), had bought a car, 1956 Cadillac, which within the same month, broke down. In which she paid for the repairs - she told me were $4K in repairs??? $4K? That would buy my WHOLE freaking Geo Tracker! Yet she put that on her Visa. In 2 weeks, after these numerous repairs, car "blew up" due to negligence of the mechanic. Whatever??????????

Son Ted had car towed to a wrecker's yard - receiving approximately 200$ for the whole car. Nice $4K spent VERY wisely.

Oh in the time I knew her - approx. 2.5 years?? She borrowed $50K from the bank. So that is what she is living on. Basically. Whenever she runs into financial difficulties, the BofM ups her Visa amount, she can spend on by $5K.

So that is the background. Other than how we met. Approx. 3 years ago, I thought I had met a wonderful man - let me call him Mike - He ran his own company - landscaping - with his brother - had 2 kids - adorable of course. He and I hit it off, etc etc.

After 6 months, he asked me to move in with him, and I was "in love" so I said Yes.

In 2 weeks, he "took" me for $1500, I was homeless LITERALLY - as we had moved into a rental house in the middle of the month - Rent was due again, I gave him my 1/2 (600$) and I never saw him again - and when I returned hom from work, all of his furniture (and some of mine) were gone. Basically all that he could fit into a rental truck. Nice, eh?

So how I met Arlene? Was at a Women's shelter, where I went for food/clothing/counselling and the rest.

She was in a group I went to, for re-inforcement.

We've stayed "friends" for the past 2.5 years.

Okay since December 2005 -

Arlene at Xmas, tried to committ suicide by swallowing every pill that was in her house and drinking alcohol until she passed out. But before she passed out - she had the decency??? To call her son, that she was still talking to - of what she had done.

It was him that rushed over to her home/apartment to "save" her. She spent 3 days in the hospital, for observation. I guess is what it is called?

That is the background, basically.

Well in the last 2 months, the summer months, I have decided to lose weight by cancelling my car insurance and riding my bike everywhere. The only time this is an inconvenience really, is when I have to go buy groceries. So we were making it a bi-weekly "adventure" do you need to go for groceries? And making it fun. A time for us to get-together and talk and grocery shop.

Well whenever I would ask her for a ride, or she would call and ask if I needed to go for groceries, she would suggest a time that she would come over and we would drive over. She was never on-time, in fact, she would be sometimes 3 or 4 hours, sometimes even 5 hours later than the time that she originally suggested.

Since I work at home - singing telegrams - It was really not that "bad" just inconvient. But hey, it was a ride, right?

Well this past week, she informed me that she had just yesterday been diagnosed as a ClassII diabetic. I did not know even that there were different classes of diabetics. So off I go to the Internet to learn about Diabetes.

Well it said that classII diabetics were prone to blacking out - So when she did not show up at my place - Or answer her phone, or in my concern, I rode over to her place, beeped her front door, via the intercom - I thought OMG - she's in that diabetic shock coma.

Well I stood there at her front door - Wondering wtf I do, at that point? When I thought, well I have done all I could do humanly possible. Really. So I rode home - But enroute I thought - well I will just go to the grocery store and get what I could tonight and carry what I could in my backpack and one grocery bag. In the morning I would do same again, until groceries were all bought. The benefit would be that I would get Xmore bike rides, which would only be a benefit.

While I was locking my bike up - she rang me - where are you? As I have a cell phone - I was at your place, you weren't there - The traffic was horrendous took me forever to get there (I live on 92nd - she lives on 97th) - whatever.

So I said I am at the grocery store - You offered me a ride 6 hours ago, I left, go figure.

Well I will be right there - right after I call my landlord that the front door to this apartment building is not closing all the way - I don't want my apartment broken into - So I am going to call.

Whatever I am here, you offered me a ride, now you are saving the world again - one broken apartment door at a time. Yet you can't help out a friend. Marvelous. Whatever. I am done.

I will be there! Don't be such a bitch!

Bitch LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we grocery shop - in which she buys every windchime in the store - I stopped count at her putting 10 in the grocery cart. Yet she had no money?

So she begins grumbling I am hungry - are you done soon? I said yes, just milk/frozen lazagna.

Then when we were in the lineup to pay - you are not putting your stuff on the conveyer belt fast enough. I said, bite me.

Then outside I am starving. I suggested, a restaurant in the same mall/area as the grocery store.

When we sat down, she started acting strangely, I have shooting pains up my left arm, wait - I can't feel it!

I said, it's okay I am here with you, so if necessary, I can drive you to the hospital. So I am here.

We sit there with menus for 20 minutes, her mute.

Then the waitress comes, I order water and oj., she orders glass of iced water. I order a sandwich.

Then she blurts, "Do you think that you are Psychotic?"

I got her to clarify, what is psychotic?

Uncaring about others.

I replied, You are stupid. Yeah, I don't care.

The waitress interrupts for her order. She says she just wants the water.

I said, you let me order? When you had zero intention of ordering food? I am not sitting here eating alone. How literally fucked is that? Or enjoyable?

I said to the waitress, sorry cancel my order.

The waitress wandered off.

Yeah, back to that, I so fucking don't care, I offer to be there for you, to drive you to the fucking hospital. I am fed up caring for you. Every minute is wondering if you are dead. Nice friendship. I am tired of you showing up 6 hours later, I am tired of begging you to share my life - I am tired of waiting for the next phonecall you being dead.

Just tired.

I am going home and you can just fuck right off.

I followed her outside - Oh I can fuck right off? You can fuck right off? I don't care? How stupid are you? You only fucking hear negatives that people say to you. Well hear this you are FUCKED FUCKED FUCKED

Shut up!

What you can't handle the truth? I don't care who hears this!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE FUCKED FUCKED FUCKED

Get out of my face.

What about my groceries? Nice drive off with my fucking groceries fucked up bitch. Talk about uncaring. Psychotic. Yeah. Huh.

She zoomed off - enroute I get a phone call from my landlord who lives downstairs I need my parking spot!

She had left my groceries in his parking spot!

I left her a vile message on her phone machine - Something like a NORMAL friend OR person would not LEAVE groceries in the middle of a person's LANDLORD'S parking spot. Proof you are Fucked. A NORMAL person OR friend would stay until I got here (on my bike) and talked this thru - But noooooooooooooooooooooooo a psychotic person would run and hide and do her drugs at home alone and HIDE HIDE HIDE

Yeah, let's talk fucked here. I want to talk this thru and you are HIDING in your unfurnished apartment. Who's the adult here? YOU ARE FUCKED. You respect this friendship? You would deal with this right now, with a return phone call - because I know you listen to each and every one of your phone messages IMMEDIATELY upon receiving them - I've watched you a 1000 times do the same thing.

You don't call me tonight? Is telling me this friendship is over. Basically. Because Babydoll? You have pushed my buttons too fucking far this time - Having MY LANDLORD CALL ME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT BECAUSE MY GROCERIES ARE IN HIS WAY when my front door is 5 steps away? IS FUCKED FUCKED FUCKED FUCKED. NO matter how you look at it.

I went for a 65 km bike ride then I put my groceries away. Then I typed this.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. What a fucking Friday, to the start of a long weekend. YeeeeefuckingHaw.