I REALLY do not understand life currently...

Everything, in life, I have found, ENDS at the very same time...

I have had a very, very, very good friend named Narda for the last 6??? Years and now, with no explanation, she is no longer "in" my life - This was a person that would call me ALLOT/day.

She had been diagnosed as a ton of things... And has been in the Psych. ward of two cities in B.C. in the last 10 years and her and I have been thru a ton of things together and yet she just "stops" talking to me.

BLAH. Zero explanation.

WTF?

Then I reached out to my Biological Father and wrote him a 6 page letter of which I expressed my complete feelings and confusions where he is concerned. I talked to him today and he read it that I hate the whole clan. Why do I bother?

So I am retreating by both parties. No more am I reaching out. My whole life I have been the person searching/reaching out to others. Well this is My Time. I am just placing ONE GOAL in my life. Currently.

I am going to work out and work out and work out and diet. I am no longer reaching out to others. I am reaching In.

I have felt like I have been "Frozen in Time" for like a Long time. And I have finally "woken" up.

Workout = Me. That's It. Nothing More.

I reached out. I can't do any more.

Me.