**AHA**
I woke up this morning in Vancouver, B.C. Canada
and jumped into a bubble bath
And I must say that a white bathroom with huge mirrors staring at you
Does not give one much lies
OMG
Is that me?
If Judy Blume were to write a book about me it would be
Blubber - The Whale Part II
So I looked at myself and looked for positives
Hard to when you've suffered from a dark cloud of depression for so long
But it was like a voice was saying inside my head
Competing with my sensations of panic attacks
Of driving tonight to find somewhere I have never been to before
Where is the girl/woman that moved solo to Vancouver
and rode on day passes
just to see her new beloved city?
Instead I have become a cowering obese oman hiding under her covers
right now
scared out of her mind to have to find a location
she has never been to before?
How have I become that woman?
I am removing the darkness of the cape of depression today
as I just called the front desk and asked if the hotel has an exercise room 
it does 
Today is the first day of my life 
Others have walked away from the closeting, dark room of depression 
I am going to do that as well and will stride forth in my city of today 
Vancouver and take photos 
I am so not the person described by my father as the 
Fat Lazy Whore 
Fuck you DRUNK biological Father 
I am a great many things 
I am shedding your hate of me 
Be gone 
Your words of me have or rather is no longer carried by me 
FUCK YOU 
YOU ARE SO NOT WORTHY OF MY CARRYING ANYMORE
I stand on my 5th floor balcony
and welcome the world
today
For the first time in a long time
I have always taken on the
Woe is Me
persona
Well that is begone today as well
That I must be the person the other is describing
That I must warrant the abuse they are tossing my way allot
I am strong
I am a newborn
Today