M.!!!!
I think that u r a MIRACLE WORKER!!! U found the key!!! That broke the AHA MOMENT 4 me... U stated in our last session that "allot of people have hurt u" I looked at u & wondered WTF how DID u caught that, it made no sense to me AS 2 ME I was the CAUSE CAUSE CAUSE of the failings... Every1 else was PERFECT... Then I did a deep meditation today 90 minutes & it clicked - - ppl CHOSE 2 hurt ME i always internalized all the hurts & reversed it - 2 MY FAULT... e.g. 1) my father left because i was NOT born a boy & physically IMPERFECT/born w/a club foot... etc etc I was the fat lazy whore he described... I did not let him be a separate hurting identity capable of CHOOSING 2 hurt ME... Like he said as I moved into my home here in N. This is your last chance - Yet my love for him was open & always UNCONDITIONAL? I am finally able to DEEP BREATHE!!!! Hard 2 explain when 1 has been shallow breathing their whole life - - I just wanted to say THANK U 4 U... I have written 8 letters saying I FORGIVE U to all of the S's 4 being such f/ups NOTHING 2 DO W/ME hahahha THANKU This doesn't make sense2 u I am sure But u r doing your TRUE CALLING... I can DEEP BREATH... I wrote to my Father & said I was ready to talk to him & I would buy him a coffee. 1. & the rest of the S's got letters too. I am not expecting replies Just letting them know a) I forgive them for the HURTS they inflicted on me. I have. That I have released it & My path was never the 1 they all wanted mine to be. Never was, never could be, never will be. I always lived 4 them THEM THEM THEM It is so wrong to live 4 other human beings Be your own path Be it.
THEY HURT ME - w/o me being the CAUSE ALL I so thought I was short fat ugly not smart enough boring enough skinny enough WANTING MONEY MONEY MONEY physical enough on and on so many conditions to have a S's love... My path is MINE I am walking it now WITH my head held high and BREATHING and dancing... of course to 80's tunes lol & saluting w/white wine.
I think that u r a MIRACLE WORKER!!! U found the key!!! That broke the AHA MOMENT 4 me... U stated in our last session that "allot of people have hurt u" I looked at u & wondered WTF how DID u caught that, it made no sense to me AS 2 ME I was the CAUSE CAUSE CAUSE of the failings... Every1 else was PERFECT... Then I did a deep meditation today 90 minutes & it clicked - - ppl CHOSE 2 hurt ME i always internalized all the hurts & reversed it - 2 MY FAULT... e.g. 1) my father left because i was NOT born a boy & physically IMPERFECT/born w/a club foot... etc etc I was the fat lazy whore he described... I did not let him be a separate hurting identity capable of CHOOSING 2 hurt ME... Like he said as I moved into my home here in N. This is your last chance - Yet my love for him was open & always UNCONDITIONAL? I am finally able to DEEP BREATHE!!!! Hard 2 explain when 1 has been shallow breathing their whole life - - I just wanted to say THANK U 4 U... I have written 8 letters saying I FORGIVE U to all of the S's 4 being such f/ups NOTHING 2 DO W/ME hahahha THANKU This doesn't make sense2 u I am sure But u r doing your TRUE CALLING... I can DEEP BREATH... I wrote to my Father & said I was ready to talk to him & I would buy him a coffee. 1. & the rest of the S's got letters too. I am not expecting replies Just letting them know a) I forgive them for the HURTS they inflicted on me. I have. That I have released it & My path was never the 1 they all wanted mine to be. Never was, never could be, never will be. I always lived 4 them THEM THEM THEM It is so wrong to live 4 other human beings Be your own path Be it.
THEY HURT ME - w/o me being the CAUSE ALL I so thought I was short fat ugly not smart enough boring enough skinny enough WANTING MONEY MONEY MONEY physical enough on and on so many conditions to have a S's love... My path is MINE I am walking it now WITH my head held high and BREATHING and dancing... of course to 80's tunes lol & saluting w/white wine.
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