Okay today I am just closing my eyes and VENTING... Yes it's PMS time & I am ready to EXPLODE!!!

PersonX arrived at my home as I am currently selling items on www.craigslist.org Vancouver CANADA section.

The item that person X was arriving to look at was Pottery that I have for sale. I have like 75 pieces of pottery (variety of sizes and colors) - But mainly smaller sizes that my plants have grown out of. Is that the right terminology? LOL

Well anyways this Male PersonX arrives. Everyone that arrives at my front door, gets a hello from my Dalmatian, and if he "likes" you... He runs back up the stairs (as I live in the upstairs of a house) and brings you his tennis ball.

With Male PersonX, he did not. All the way up the stairs, MPX muttered/complained/vocalized about his discomfort in my home, too busy (there is art all over the walls - I LIKE art???) Too much doggy hair everywhere - There is a Dalmatian and YES they SHED.

Mutter, mutter, mutter.

MPX did not buy any of the pottery - too small, too ugly, too boring, would not fit into his decor. Etc etc etc.

On his way out; How could you live here? It's a hellhole/ratsnest/one big pile of dog hair mess. I am like OMG?

Then because I was PMSing I just sat down and cried, cried, cried. This is the only time of the month that I miss my Xman of like forever ago. My live-in Jim. During my PMS-ing 1st day, he would come home with flowers, yes red roses. Sit down with me and hold me, rub my back and let me let the tears flow. He never asked why and to take the lower back cramps away? We would have bedboard bangin' sex. To relieve my cramps.

Rough sex was always on the agenda when my tears were flowing. It was a Fantastic remedy. I would forget all about every ache pain and tear. Screaming his name.

I need a man, to live with... That loves animals as much as I do, loves art and lets me putter. But knows that I love sex. Tremendously. And is NOT jealous - Why X is an X. Insane with Jealousy. Which is stupidly stupid. Because when I am "IN" a relationship? No other male person exists for me.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I want to live with someone - Why the fuck is someone for me so hard to find?

My Friday night tonight? Crying, missing backboard banging releasing cramps-sex, the warmth of a morning after when he brings me toast and peanut butter/honey (my favorite) 'cuz he loves me.

Would I take him back? In a heartbeat. **IF** he lived in B.C. What ultimately ended it for us. He missed Manitoba. Me? Manitoba was only **JUST** forgiveable to be FROM. Not to live in.

Wow why am I thinking of X? We've split 10 years ago. Oh I know, the cramps. Like he thinks of me.

Oh find me a Man, a sexy man, that wants/desires/needs me too. Where the fuck is he?

My Friday night? HouseFUCKINGcleaning. No sex and housecleaning. Watching way too many episodes of CSI. Yeah gore is gooooooooooooooooood for PMSing.

On that note I will end.

Oh no - Wait on this note I will end;

Small pottery for sale - all kinds/colours - 3$/each. Small delivery charge if you want delivered. Better to view in person IGNORE the house interior HAHAHA Can be payable via my paypal account. So BUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh other notes of PMS Angst - I have a severe crush on that boy named Jeff and since his "trip" I have heard NOTHING Nadda Zilch. I don't know wtf to do? Call him? Email him? Text Message him on his phone?

But then my inner voice says The boy has your Email, Cell phone number, has text messaged you before.

So what is the solution? I don't know.

I do know this - I miss being IN a relationship REALLY FUCKING BAD about now. Right now I do, oh I am going to start to cry again. Wrong thing to do.

So instead? To relieve the Tension? Housecleaning and Exercising on my treadmill - walking into forever. Slowly. Thank god for LOUD MUSIC.